Been Reading

1 Feb

I’ve started reading a book. It is called “Xenophobe’s Guide to the Canadians” by Vaughn Roste. It is 63 pages long and the most reading I’ve done in a while that isn’t on my computer screen. I’m maybe going to try and read more actual books instead of blogs. We will see.

Also, if you don’t know what a xenophobe is:

I’m finding this book quite funny, as I’m sure it should be. I’ve decided to include some of the text as I go along.

Page 7-8 How Others See Them
A study was once done in the United States to see how well Americans knew Canada. Canadians didn’t know wether to laugh or cry at the results. Many came up with the idea that Canada is roughly circular, that its residents live in igloos and that all year round the populace commute to work by dogsled. For some inexplicable reason, Americans seem to harbour a nagging suspicion hat all Canadians are born with the instinctive knowledge of how to gut a bear…….. The rest of the world sees Canadians as tough undomesticated creatures hacking life out of a frozen landscape and heroically pushing back the barriers of the known world. For this they are treated rather like favourite pets, and it is generally thought that they are deserving of no small amount of international sympathy.”

Page 9 – 10
“Living next door to the Americans has imbued Canadians with a natural sort of inferiority complex. It’s tough to prove that you are the worthier partner if your attention-seeking spouse continually steals the limelight, gladly takes the credit and bathes in all the glory afterwards……. Hence Canadians were more elated at their prominent role in the South Park hit ‘Blame Canada’, than upset at the ludicrous manner in which they were portrayed. It was reassuring to know that they were at least being noticed.”

Page 15 Qualities Forged by Nature
“Canadians have developed a refined nonchalance about great distances, and every family dreams of one day driving across the country. Sitting in a vehicle for incredible durations would strike most Europeans as masochistic, but Canadians have developed a perverse sort of pleasure in it, and an immunity that comes with exposure: some Canadians commute ten hours to work.”

That’s as far as I’ve gotten. It’s all true.

On a side note i posted this comic to my other blog, Twinlings, run by myself and some friends. Enjoy.


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